counting white cars

I have never been so obsessed with cars as I have been out here.  This is likely because I can’t drive two miles without having to rub my eyes to make sure I am not seeing things.  People drive the kinds of cars I thought were reserved for royalty and plastic surgeons.  These are the kinds of cars that eat Ford Foci for breakfast . . . no wait, breakfast is the most important meal of the day . . . these cars eat Ford Foci for that snack at 3:00 pm when it has been too long since lunch, but it is way too early for dinner.

BMW 5 series and Mercedes C-class are like the Toyota Camry and Honda Accords of the west coast.  In other words, they are ubiquitous and no one in California is impressed by your ability to own one.  If you really want to get noticed (and everyone out here does . . . Eep! Did that sound jaded?), you are going to have to look outside of Japan for your vehicles.

You are going to want to look in Italy.  Maserati, Lamborghini, Ferrari . . . basically anything that ends in an “i” will get you noticed.  If you need to, make your car yellow.  This ensures that not even the sun will be able to compete with your automobile.  But what if you just need something small and good on gas mileage – for meeting the girls for lunch, going to spa appointments, or bringing Pretty Pretty Princess Glitter McSparkle Puppypants to the groomer?  Italy has you covered there, too.  Just pick yourself up a Fiat with your pocket change.  It’s so adorable for when you want to slum it, and if you happen to ding it parallel parking in front of Starbucks – who cares!?!  Throw it out, and get a new one!!

If you are looking for a little bit more prestige/snobbery in your vehicle, you should definitely check out England.  Bentley, Rolls Royce, Jaguar . . . These cars are designed with a haughty British accent and are meant to make on-lookers feel like vile losers.

pardon me, but could you please move your Kia with the Maine license plate? my Bentley doesn't like being down wind of it.

Beyond all the Luxury (with a capital “L”) cars, my other major car-related observation is that everyone drives white cars.  Seriously, I have never seen so many white cars.  If I were to add up all the white cars I witnessed in 29 years and 10 months on the east coast, it would not total the amount of white cars I have seen here in only 2 months.  Wanting to make this observation more than just a hunch, I decided to pursue my hypothesis through scientific research.

While driving the same 2 mile stretch of road everyday for 4 consecutive days at roughly the same time, I counted cars (one color per day).  Now, before you get all loony about the sheer number of cars I saw within 2 miles, I need to tell you that Carlsbad High School uses said street as auxiliary parking for students.  Below is a complex chart that reveals my findings.

Red Cars: 19

Blue Cars: 26*

Black Cars: 21

White Cars: 60

* I did not count my own blue 2001 Ford Focus mainly because it is so dirty it’s really more brown than blue.

I think these results speak for themselves, but for some reason I really want to include a pie chart.  You’ll notice that, with the exception of black, the colors on the pie chart have no relation to the colors of the cars.  I like green, and I don’t care who knows it.


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  1. Trackback: THE FIVE « california vernacular

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