So, here comes the part where I shamelessly attempt to drum up votes by making promises I can’t keep. I probably shouldn’t have opened with that. Nix the promises. Instead, just vote for the best one (mine, duh). Are you confused by all this talk of voting and lying?? Start here . . . then go here . . . and, finally, remind yourself that I’m a defending champ.
21 Mar 2013 1 Comment
There are 17 lights on my commute to work (another 17 on the way home). What would be a 5 – 7 minute drive is easily 20. And not a smooth 20 . . . a stop and go 20.
Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I want to announce the posting of my short fiction piece. Click here if you have no idea what I’m talking about. Please do me a solid and check it out over on Tim’s website. It’s about the most ambiguous love I can think of, set to the smooth vocal stylings of Lana Del Rey. (You can hate her if you want to, but she’ll just hypnotize you with her pouty lips and cat’s eye makeup.)
For those of you who dislike it when I babble, here are the straight facts:
Dark Paradise <— Ripe for the clicking
Read it and weep (well, you probably won’t be crying).
24 Jul 2012 3 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: Brian Cranston, California, Captian Planet, Don't call it a comeback, Firefly, Jayne hats, Joss Whedon, Lucy Lawless, pedi-cabs, Prison Break, Robert Downey Jr., San Diego Comic Con, San Diego Comic-Con International, Sons of Anarchy, The Walking Dead, True Blood, Weezer, Wesleyan University, X-men
Trillions of nerds, super fans, cosplayers, pop culture junkies, LARPists, geeks, toy enthusiasts, comic lovers, and others generally seeking to avoid human contact by befriending televisions, fictional characters, and inanimate objects ventured out of their garages and into the open arms of San Diego Comic Con 2012. Okay, so, maybe there weren’t trillions, but until you’ve waited in a 6 hour line, please don’t judge my need to exaggerate for effect. (Oh, and P.S. – I’m back, bitches. Pretend like ya missed me.)
The curious thing about Comic Con is, that by any amount of reasonable logic (see above), it should be a cesspool of terrible human to human interactions. It should be a whole lot of awkward, awful exchanges born solely out of necessity.
“Hey, Panthro – you’re stepping on my foot. Actually, you’ve been stepping on it for the last 20 minutes. I figured I would just continue to endure, but I have to go to the bathroom.”
“No cuts, no buts, no coconuts, buddy. If you really loved Firefly, you would have gotten here last night like I did.”
“Yes, this is the line to get into the line to get into the line for Hall H.”
However, it’s not like that at all. I mean, sure, you have your occasional encounter with the wild-eyed socially inept: “Oooooh, you would like one of the free Last Airbender posters on the display case above my head? You don’t have to shove or crush me to get it. Just say excuse me . . . then I will gladly move out of your way while explaining to you how lame The Last Airbender is.” Seriously, of all the things to get pushy about; IRON MAN himself just made an appearance a few feet away. (See how I used Robert Downey Jr. to provide perspective? Only at Comic Con.)
The actual worst interaction of the entire experience took place on the last train back up to Carlsbad on Friday night and involved guys coming from the bar, not the convention center. So, my point here is that my SDCC experience was full of awesome interactions with awesome people who were all just as jazzed as I was to share in the magic.
Alright, admittedly, I am a little rusty with the words after such a lengthy hiatus. In lieu of more rusty words, I think I’ll let pictures do most of the talking for the rest of the post (you’re welcome). Some of the pics are mine, but some are not. The excitement and visual overload of the Con caused me to take pictures in a way that would not even be considered advanced for a hyena. Without further ado, here are some of the highlights.
More costumes than you can shake a stick at.
At this point, I feel like I need to recognize two very special costumes. When there is such an abundance to choose from, it can be difficult to distinguish the true leaders of the pack. Actually, it really wasn’t that hard.
Hey, did you know that trying to format photos on this blog is like trying to herd kittens?? Aaaaanyway, there are a few more things/people that/who deserve tribute before I can close out the Comic Con chapter.
The King of Con
I had the distinct pleasure of seeing Joss Whedon a few years back in a much smaller venue (Wesleyan University – what up, M-town?). He was no different in that setting than in this one. No matter where he is, no matter how many people are staring at him (about 4,500 at the time of this picture), he remains the same witty, humble, radical dude. I salute you, Mr. Whedon.
The King of Meth
If you don’t watch Breaking Bad, then I probably don’t like you. Don’t worry, I will continue to “tolerate” you. Just understand that if we are ever in a situation where I am clutching both your hand and Brian Cranston’s hand as the two of you dangle off of a cliff, you’re going to die.
The Queens of Con
What a treat this panel of intelligent women was. Didn’t hurt that Kristin came out in the Walmart sweatshirt and that Sarah referenced Prison Break. Oh, and Lucy Lawless was an unannounced guest. I wish I’d recorded the reaction the girl in front of me had when Lucy walked on stage. I was pretty sure the girl was giving birth and began to boil some water.
The Grand Finale
If there was a better way to close out my Comic Con experience than Sons of Anarchy, I don’t know it. Remember what I said about the whole cliff dangling thing and Brian Cranston? Same goes for the competition between you and any one of these cast members (hell, I’ll even throw Sutter in there). Thirty seconds of the trailer for season 5 was blacked out for content. Epic.
And one more thing (because there is always an additional scene after the credits roll) . . .
A Comic Con sized thank you to this gentleman, who offered me a free pedi-cab ride from the train station on the last day simply because I smiled and responded to him politely. Kindness, people, it makes the world go round!
11 Apr 2012 5 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: Baby Pandas, Birds, Breaking Up To A Beat, California, Clip Shows, Dumbledore is my Homeboy, Employment, I am Katniss!, San Diego Zoo, Tangential Thinking, The Hunger Games, Visits
Hey! Who remembers clip shows?? Maybe I shouldn’t be asking that question like clip shows are a thing of the past. I just realized that I haven’t watched a sitcom since Friends. For all I know, clip shows could be alive and kicking, just as relevant (ha, I certainly don’t mean relevant) as they were in the 90’s.
Back in my day, you could smell a clip show from a mile away. Danny Tanner would gather everyone around the kitchen table, the Seaver clan would hunker down on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, and there would be some trumped-up reason for everyone to start reminiscing. Cue the flashbacks, anecdotes, and lowered production costs.
This is really my over-complicated way of telling you that what follows will be a montage of clips designed to catch you up on what’s been going on out here in the land of sunshine and assholes. While this post differs from traditional clip shows in that it will not be a collection of stuff that I have already shared in this blog, I am willing to ignore that if you are.
Now, imagine me, staring off into space as the screen gets progressively more fuzzy until clearing on a new scene . . .
Remember the time when: I actually won that writing contest on Breaking Up to A Beat.
I know, right?!? Believe me, no one was more surprised than me (except maybe the other writers in the contest). I can’t thank everyone enough for voting – because of you guys I am now the proud owner of a $25.00 Amazon gift card. (Well, I *used* to be the proud owner of an Amazon gift card. Now, I am the proud owner of one “Girl on Fire” t-shirt . . . which I wear while running around with a rubber band, launching pencils at Nate and screaming, “May the odds be ever in YOUR favor, bitch!!!!!”)
Remember the time when: I saw The Hunger Games three times (and counting) in the theater.
I have this thing with even numbers; so after seeing it twice, I pretty much had to see it again.
Remember the time when: I got a job.
A real one. That pays dollars.
I didn’t know it was picture day. If I had, I might have made some different styling choices before heading out to the district office that afternoon. I also probably would not have chosen to have the light hit my nose that way.
Remember the time when: I bought the most delightful lip balm in all the land.
I know I am prone to exaggeration (let’s call it hyperbole, sounds less crazy that way), but I really don’t think I have ever been this pleased with a lip product. For the record, a neon narwhal smells delicious. And so does everything else in this shop! I also have a couple perfume oils that are equally as awesome. Buy things, you won’t regret it: Long Winter Farm.
Remember the time when: I yelled at a 12 year old boy.
To be fair, he was harassing a bird. This bird actually:
I wish I didn’t have to yell at the kid, really I do. I wish his parents (seated a few feet away) gave enough of a shit to teach their kid how to treat other living things. Oh, but never fear, crappy parents and punk-ass kids, the bird-crusader is here to tell you exactly what you are doing wrong and why you should never do it again. The boy got an earful (and then hid behind a display of stuffed animal snakes . . . coward), but the parents were spared the lecture I was planning to give them on the connection between animal cruelty and future serial killers. My mom thought that would be going to far.
Remember the time when: My mom came to visit, and we held a baby panda!
Wonders never cease out here. I tried to make sure there were as many “wonders” as possible during my mom’s visit in a desperate attempt to convince her that moving to California would be a good idea. I think I had almost persuaded her when she heard the sound that our toilet makes when it flushes (kind of like a dying T-Rex meets a giant’s stomach after too many beans). Back to the drawing board.
Remember the time when: Kira came to visit!
It was a glorious time, full of TOMS, Mexican food, and tattoos. However, I have no photographic proof that she was really here (other than a Kira-like shadow eclipsing a lizard on a rock) . . . so maybe I imagined the whole thing.
Remember the time when: it was way past the time for the clip show to end.
So, here’s the part with the hearty laughter, warm smiles, concluding music, and return to the original scene. I hope you all have learned whatever lesson you were supposed to have gleaned from this dog and pony show. Please don’t ask me what that lesson was supposed to be; you’ll likely just get a rant about the proper treatment of peacocks.
05 Mar 2012 1 Comment
Hey remember that short piece o’ fiction I wrote last month for Breaking Up to a Beat???
Me neither. Luckily, it matters not that you remember it, only that you vote for it here: official voting spot. Integrity is not something I value, but if you do and would prefer to make your own “informed” decision by reading all the stories (wow, I bet you’re fun at parties), then please, by all means click right HERE to access the linked list.
The poll closes at precisely 11:59pm (EST) on Saturday, March 10th, so I guess I’m not sure why you are still dilly dallying. There is an Amazon gift card at stake!!!
The choice is yours (but probably, you should vote for this one).